it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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