first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
