Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
