remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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