If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize