Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
