I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
is that a dick in a sweater?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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