Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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