butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
True strength comes from lack of pants
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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