wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize