smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize