Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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