i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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