THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The air was thick with penises
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
