I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
