just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am in a vortex of obligation.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
