He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
