Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Boobs speak an international language.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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