I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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