yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize