Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
