WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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