i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
