You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
