R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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