I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
