Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
