his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
