evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
