Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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