gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
