I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
