and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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