Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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