Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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