I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
