My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
