sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
