Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
jump out the window naked night went bad
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
