tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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