I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
