he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
