i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
