I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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