The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
