How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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