Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
