I need help removing her.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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