I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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