Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
