He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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