I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
