obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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