Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
