she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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