so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize