I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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