i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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