NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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