Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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