were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
