Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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