I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
