if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
