his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
