how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
