i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
